Right… Not sure I’ve felt this weird in… God knows how long. I mean, I’ve been conflicted plenty, and I have weird moments and weird feelings, pretty much all the time. That’s basically who I am. Still… At the moment, I feel completely f**ked up. Like absolutely mentally roller-coaster-y. One day I’m stupidly happy for no real reason, and things just keep getting better and better, then the next I’m all contemplative and moody. I just don’t know how to sort myself out, to be, kind of stable. Sometimes I really think there’s something wrong with me. Like fundamentally. Do I sub-consciously hate being happy so much that I somehow manage to make myself unhappy when things are going so well? Or… well, I don’t know, and if I keep writing I’m just going to go round in circles. Damn it all.
x
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